It's been a long day.   Too long.  Ever felt like you don't know what you are doing any more?  Like nothing that you do matters?  I really tried to help her but I couldn't.  I failed at everything that I did.  There are times when I wish that I could just end it all.  Stop the pain. Stop them from finding me.  Can't they understand that I can't help them?  Can't they understand that I don't want to help them?  That I just want to be left alone.  

I know that won't happen.  It's an impossible cycle that I can't get out of.  Even if they did leave me alone, after a time, I would go searching for them. They want something from me... and... I guess... I want something from them.  Neither of us knows what it is.