It's been a long day. Too long. Ever felt like you don't know what you are doing any more? Like nothing that you do matters? I really tried to help her but I couldn't. I failed at everything that I did. There are times when I wish that I could just end it all. Stop the pain. Stop them from finding me. Can't they understand that I can't help them? Can't they understand that I don't want to help them? That I just want to be left alone.
I know that won't happen. It's an impossible cycle that I can't get out of. Even if they did leave me alone, after a time, I would go searching for them. They want something from me... and... I guess... I want something from them. Neither of us knows what it is.