I'm not a good person. They think that I am. I've done some bad things in my life and I know that, eventually, it will all catch up to me. However, I can't stop what I do. It's in my nature. I know that the past defines me and makes me the person that I am. There are times when I like who I am. Most of the times, I don't. It's like a drug. I can't stop being me and I don't know another way.
Everyone is always giving me suggestions about ways to stop my urges. They don't understand. They think it is like a switch. To turn on or off. It's not. It's like a default action that happens when I'm too tired to think or am not concentrating. They don't understand that it's who I am. Or maybe they do. Maybe they are giving me the suggestions because they want themselves to feel better. Not because they want to really help.